Marriage – Are You Ready To Take The Next Step
When a couple is in love they often overlook flaws in the character of their partner and can sometimes even be in denial. It is usually while in this state of bliss that they decide they would like to spend the rest of their lives together and get engaged.
An engagement is a promise to marry and should be taken seriously, however, it can also give you time to re-evaluate your relationship and take a closer look at your partner and yourself. When the heat of passion has died down, the real reasons for getting married can be explored. Before getting married there are certain questions you can ask to ensure that you and your partner are ready for a lifetime commitment.
1. Why Do You Want To Get Married?
To help find the reasons behind why you said “yes”, write down a list of the things that make you happy about your partner and those that make you unhappy. If you have to talk yourself or your fiancé into getting married, stop right there, as it is a clear indication that you are not ready for marriage. Maybe you should stay engaged a little longer.
Be honest with yourself and your partner. Are you getting married just because you have always wanted to get married, or will marriage help you avoid or escape something in your life? If these are some of the negative reasons for getting married, you are not ready to take the next step.
2. Are you planning a marriage or just a wedding?
A wedding lasts for one day, a marriage is supposed to last forever. The goal is to be happily married, not just married. By the time you walk down the aisle you should have discussed important details for your future such as agreements on having children or not, how many, how to discipline them, where you would like to live and how you will handle in-laws. Other important topics include sex, careers, religion, finances, division of chores, retirement, holidays and unfulfilled personal dreams. Have you both identified and communicated your needs and expectations? If these things are not discussed beforehand, it will be difficult to successfully merge two diverse lives into one.
3. How well do you know your partner?
The best way to predict future behavior is to take a look at past behavior and learn from it. How well do you know your partner’s past behavior in romantic relationships as well as in family relationships? Are you satisfied with the way you are being treated and do you trust that your partner has learned good relationship behavior from parents? The relationship between future in-laws is often indicative of what your marriage relationship will be like as children learn from their parents.
If you feel comfortable that the above questions have been honestly answered and that you feel committed to doing everything in your power to build a happy life with your partner, you are ready to take the next step and get married.